Hello World. Well, here I am. I'm just a regular teenage guy. Well, I wouldn't say regular. I Love music. Playing it on piano, listening to it, or singing. I also am probably the most sensitive guy ever. That's why I've ended up cutting. I don't want to go to a councilor, so I'm going to spill my guts out to you, the world.
Recently, I haven't been cutting, but its only because my parents took my knife and check my arms. How did they find out? One of my friends, who used to cut, told them. That friend wants me to get a councilor, but I'm not good at talking to people to their face about private things.
I'm going to start you off on the story of my teenage life so far. I'm 14 as of a couple weeks ago, so it shouldn't be too hard catching up.
I've always been the odd one out at school, but I thought 7th grade might be different. Turns out I was wrong. The whole year was drama drama drama. All made, as you have probably guessed, by girls. These girls are all my friends, I still have a crush on one of them. That's the friend who's trying to get me out of cutting. The whole year was wars with friends over girls, girls changing their minds, and girls getting mad at guys. I did my best to stay out, but I'm the guy who always attempts to play diplomat, so of course I didn't stay out of it very well. It all ended up fine. The year was fairly uneventful, looking back on it. This year I have probably gone through one of the biggest changes in my life. I had a head on collision with love. I met a new girl, named Ally, who changed my life. She made me a much happier person over all. We talked all of the time over skype, since I don't have a phone. over time our talk began to decay, as we had discovered that one of my friends loves her as well. Somehow I'm still friends with him, even though we're both competing over the same girl. Towards the end of the year I screwed up. I was feeling kind of like she had forgotten me because she just wasn't the same as she used to be towards me, so I tried to move on. It's hard to move on, you can count on that. For those of you who think love is impossible at 14, I don't care what you think, it IS possible. Now towards the end of the year, me and another girl were working on a project, and we were in a room alone, and we were kind of flirting. Ok, not kind of. We were flirting. That girl got me to kiss her, and we both have a crush on each other now. The other girl though, I left extremely hurt. I still care about her, and I don't want to just leave her, but I wasn't thinking she loved me anymore. I thought she had moved on. We hardly ever talk anymore. At the last school dance of the year this year, last Friday, I danced with the girl I have a crush on. I also found I still really care about Ally, because she danced with another guy. The whole year, she said she wouldn't dance with anybody, not even if she loved them, she made a promise to herself. Then she just went off and danced with another guy who we didn't even think she knew very well. I had known she'd had a crush on a guy the whole year, but I'd had no idea who. Now I knew, and I was pissed as hell. So me, being hypoglycemic, and unable to think of my actions, I went up to her and yelled at the top of my lungs at her, calling her a bitch and other things. I now extremely regret it. We're talking, but I still feel really terrible. If I had my knife right now my wrists would both have deep gashes and I would be bleeding profusely. I care about both girls a lot, but if I pick one over the other, then I'll hurt one of them, and I don't want to do that. What should I do? I don't want to just stay friends, because love is like a drug, and I can't just be friends. I really like both of them, but I don't consider myself worthy of one while the other treats me not that well. Also, the girl I've got a crush on, used to have a boyfriend she loved, but she moved away from when she moved into my state. She thought he would be loyal, but you guessed it, he cheated on her and she still cares about him. I can't even mention dating without her getting sad. I really like her, so what should I do? please reply in the comments if you're actually reading this.
Recently, I haven't been cutting, but its only because my parents took my knife and check my arms. How did they find out? One of my friends, who used to cut, told them. That friend wants me to get a councilor, but I'm not good at talking to people to their face about private things.
I'm going to start you off on the story of my teenage life so far. I'm 14 as of a couple weeks ago, so it shouldn't be too hard catching up.
I've always been the odd one out at school, but I thought 7th grade might be different. Turns out I was wrong. The whole year was drama drama drama. All made, as you have probably guessed, by girls. These girls are all my friends, I still have a crush on one of them. That's the friend who's trying to get me out of cutting. The whole year was wars with friends over girls, girls changing their minds, and girls getting mad at guys. I did my best to stay out, but I'm the guy who always attempts to play diplomat, so of course I didn't stay out of it very well. It all ended up fine. The year was fairly uneventful, looking back on it. This year I have probably gone through one of the biggest changes in my life. I had a head on collision with love. I met a new girl, named Ally, who changed my life. She made me a much happier person over all. We talked all of the time over skype, since I don't have a phone. over time our talk began to decay, as we had discovered that one of my friends loves her as well. Somehow I'm still friends with him, even though we're both competing over the same girl. Towards the end of the year I screwed up. I was feeling kind of like she had forgotten me because she just wasn't the same as she used to be towards me, so I tried to move on. It's hard to move on, you can count on that. For those of you who think love is impossible at 14, I don't care what you think, it IS possible. Now towards the end of the year, me and another girl were working on a project, and we were in a room alone, and we were kind of flirting. Ok, not kind of. We were flirting. That girl got me to kiss her, and we both have a crush on each other now. The other girl though, I left extremely hurt. I still care about her, and I don't want to just leave her, but I wasn't thinking she loved me anymore. I thought she had moved on. We hardly ever talk anymore. At the last school dance of the year this year, last Friday, I danced with the girl I have a crush on. I also found I still really care about Ally, because she danced with another guy. The whole year, she said she wouldn't dance with anybody, not even if she loved them, she made a promise to herself. Then she just went off and danced with another guy who we didn't even think she knew very well. I had known she'd had a crush on a guy the whole year, but I'd had no idea who. Now I knew, and I was pissed as hell. So me, being hypoglycemic, and unable to think of my actions, I went up to her and yelled at the top of my lungs at her, calling her a bitch and other things. I now extremely regret it. We're talking, but I still feel really terrible. If I had my knife right now my wrists would both have deep gashes and I would be bleeding profusely. I care about both girls a lot, but if I pick one over the other, then I'll hurt one of them, and I don't want to do that. What should I do? I don't want to just stay friends, because love is like a drug, and I can't just be friends. I really like both of them, but I don't consider myself worthy of one while the other treats me not that well. Also, the girl I've got a crush on, used to have a boyfriend she loved, but she moved away from when she moved into my state. She thought he would be loyal, but you guessed it, he cheated on her and she still cares about him. I can't even mention dating without her getting sad. I really like her, so what should I do? please reply in the comments if you're actually reading this.
